blog posts arent meant to hide anything, it's suppsed to b an online diary for the owner. thus, in this post, i shall not hesitate to name people.
i feel out of place in 311. you tell me, then y do u put u luv 311ers in ur profile? actually, i do luv everyone of u. every 29 of u. yes, including u, jiabin.
i noe u dun like mi. i noe u think im a bitch. i noe u're not the only one disliking mi. but i dun haf the full list.
i dun haf frens in 311. qimin told mi i haf her, jojo, jeslyn n mel. in that case, i actually haf 28 frens in 311. cuz dey treat mi almost the same. everyone's in dey're own clique. even chan yu hong belongs to felice n yayi n jiabin n gen n gang. but mi? i stand alone. n sit alone n walk alone n eat alone n do everything alone too. u may sae, no, u always have people going for recess with u. well, yes i do, but r dey wiling to walk wif mi? it talking to another person n leaving mi tailing u at the bac called willing?
different cliques talk bout their different topics. jeslyn's gang discussing bout jeslyn's crush. jiabin n gang dicussing bout how bitchy i m n deir next plan to make me cry. wendy n gang talking bout when they want to go out. yiling's gang chuclking all the wae, ena's gang talk bout everything, n cheryls talking bout gay porn.
like hey, which one m i supposed to belong to?
ans: i dun want to belong in either. i dun want 311 in cliques. i want everybody as a class, everybody discussing the same topic. i may be selfish. cuz im doing this for myself. if the class's untied, nobody will be left out. or shall i sae, i wont be left out.
weicong told mi jiabin saed he's anti-me bcuz of my attitude whenever i try explaining that no, teachers, u cant arrange extra lessons after school on weekdays other than monday, bcuz i cant make it. u cant even make me stay back for half n hour. cuz i haf german n dance on alternating days. u can make it on sat den.
seriously. im a bz person n i carn help being worked up when teachers try to plan lesons after school n a stupid person like me cant make it. like, if it's on a tuesdaes or wednesdae or thursdae or fridae when i carn make it, n teachers teach new things, stupid stephanie carn catch up wif the class because she's slow and, wat else, stupid.
jiabin wuz happie after making mi cry. after making the bitch cry. and no, he wuznt the one hu wrote bitch[fullstop] on the whiteboard in green ink in block letters right smack in my face. he's a nice guy. i stand by what i've saed. he saed he din write it, fine, i'll believe he din. n tt means there's someone else that's anti-me.
dey sae im thinking too much.
i dun think so. i think im thinking too little.
do i have true friends? aaron saes i haf 2/1'05. do i? i dun rmb being realli close to anyone dere. xinyu, u may sae. ok, mayb she's the only person. mayb not. we haf totally different personalities, n im her punching bag. but of course, we're still friends now. when she doesnt know im feeling this wae n has frens of her own. jasmine n cheri n adelain, u may sae. they're the cuckoo cuzzies. if we were realli close, i'd be already part of it isnt it? the crazee famly. hello, u think dey realli care? zhihao doesnt even recognise himself as xiaoba. n we arent that close. so what if we haf josie as meowmeow n liwen as chowchow. a cat n a dog. we do have internal conflicts. how mani 2/1 ppl do i realli wave at when i see them around? some dun even notice me.
then again, i haf chiuping and edmund and aaron. erm. three guys. u think dey can realli understand a girl? mayb aaron can. but his heart's taken by annabel. chiuping n edmund. i havent realli told them my inner feelings, i dun think dey'll ever want to know. walking to the mrt station wif dem n eating macs wif dem's enuf.
nowadays, the only person i tell my inner feelings to is jk. thru my fone. the unsent msges. mayb i shall trying sending them one dae. n mayb i'll get a reply. then hopefully everything will be solved.
yanglu n jessie n qingyun suggested tt i go talk to camila. i dunno. i dun really dislike counselling. i think i really need it. weixian saed that before too. but i find it hard to tell all this stuff to a real existing person. so mayb i shall jus get her to log onto the internet n look at this post. mayb she should give me cyber-counselling.
i forgot hu wuz tt. the dae jk's departure wuz announced, a counsellor talked to me, peifang n honglin. saed she wuz glad im close to my mum. am i realli? i called her once i got the news tt jk's dead cuz i wanted to go to his wake n i knew she wudnt let me go. tt's all. if i were realli close to her i wudnt need to post this. i wud haf discussed this with her.
it's not that i've never tried discussing bout my stuff with her. the last time i tried, i received a scolding n she sort of like told mi stuff to relatives n cudnt stop harping on it for the next few daes, weeks and months. from den on, i've learnt to keep eveything to either myself, or this blog. bcuz i dun haf a real friend i can tell all this to.
dance's another thing. i guess i can realli be quite close to dem at times. but other times, dey can be anti-me as well. cheri. shana n jeslyn. the last time i saed i wuz going for lunch wif dem, dey left w/o waiting 4 mi. den i caught up wif dem, den dey decided to not eat. n started discussing bout jeslyn's crush, n apparently didnt want me to noe. ellisse. the other day i found her fone in the toilet, she was really happi. but that was all. we din realli talk after that. audrey n ivy n joanna. random friends la. sum time ago au n ivy din realli like mi. dey talked to mi in that kind of i-dun-care-so-u'd-better-shut-ur-trap tone. but i guess it's fine now. i kinda had a quarrel wif joanna thru the fone cuz i wuz super pissed at tt time n she sent mi a "im not sure, will inform u later." reply. im sorry. im always fed up when ppl answer me with a "im not sure." kinda sentence.
den the rest. grace, xinjie, meiting, rebe, yujie, xin yue, wengmaan, xue jie, yinghui. occasional talks. i talk to yinghui more often now, for the simple reason that i feel more comfortable with it. she's in tap too, n beside mi, so she can teach me steps n we can talk easily. n also that i dun feel like talking to the ther girls.
the guys r rather ok. like, i can joke wif eugene n junyang n siian n ziang n wenjie. but nt realli heart to heart talks. never.
so now, during the hols, i guess it's time i try thinking of how i can improve my relationships wif ppl, hopefully wif the help of people. im not sure hu can help me, but i'll b happi as long as dere's sumone. if dere's nobody, i'll be fine, i'll just have to work out stuff myself. on top of the homework n appointments. wish me luck!
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
jun hols 2006
jun hols are here, and as it is every year, we are loaded with homework. and ndp trainings this year. sec 3 life isnt easy. there's loads of stuff to be done, homework and all. and we have to face pressure from teachers, friends and ourselves.
oh no. i'm beginning to have rashes. im suffering from headache and stomachache. i find myself needin the toilet more often. and the world's spinning!!!
ok. that was a joke. rmb the symtoms of stress? hehhs. i DID listen during assembly kkaes...
ptc 2dae, but my mum din go. saed it wuz a waste of time. anw i spent the time at ndp training. it wuz super sunny n the field wuz super muddy. luckily tap dancers din haf to run. like, i dun mind if it's sunny. i luv sunny's days. there isnt an error in that sentence. i know what im typing.
one month isnt enough to complete the homework given. when we have so mani activities lined up for us.
my list of activities:
26/05 叶串之声2006, NJC, 6.50pm-9.30pm
29/05-02/06 German Workshop, Goethe-Institut Singapur, 9.30 am-12.45pm
03/06 NDP training, National Stadium, 6.50am-10.45am
03/06 Cyberwellness Workshop, Fuhua Secondary, 2pm-5pm
07/06 SS Rem, NHHS, 8am-10am
07/06 Chem Rem, NHHS, 2.30pm-4.30pm
08/06 Cluster Electronic Camp, NHHS, 7.30am-1.30pm
08/06 Chem Rem, NHHS, 2.30pm-4.30pm
09/06 SS Rem, NHHS, 8am-10am
10/06 NDP Training, National Stadium, 6.50 am-10am
14/06 Dance Camp, NHHS, 9am-3pm
15/06-19/06 Sec 3 Dancers' Chalet
17/06 NDP Training, National Stadium, 6.50am-10am
19/06 Dance Camp, NHHS, 9am-6pm
20/06 Dance Camp, NHHS, 9am-5pm
21/06 SYF Training, National Stadium, 12.45pm-7.15pm
23/06 SYF Training, National Stadium, 10.15am-1.45pm
24/06 NDP CR1, National Stadium, 12.30pm-9pm
there. n i've got syf frm 9am till 7.15pm on the 1st day of school reopening.very nice.
happi holidays people, if u still haf a holiday, that is.
oh no. i'm beginning to have rashes. im suffering from headache and stomachache. i find myself needin the toilet more often. and the world's spinning!!!
ok. that was a joke. rmb the symtoms of stress? hehhs. i DID listen during assembly kkaes...
ptc 2dae, but my mum din go. saed it wuz a waste of time. anw i spent the time at ndp training. it wuz super sunny n the field wuz super muddy. luckily tap dancers din haf to run. like, i dun mind if it's sunny. i luv sunny's days. there isnt an error in that sentence. i know what im typing.
one month isnt enough to complete the homework given. when we have so mani activities lined up for us.
my list of activities:
26/05 叶串之声2006, NJC, 6.50pm-9.30pm
29/05-02/06 German Workshop, Goethe-Institut Singapur, 9.30 am-12.45pm
03/06 NDP training, National Stadium, 6.50am-10.45am
03/06 Cyberwellness Workshop, Fuhua Secondary, 2pm-5pm
07/06 SS Rem, NHHS, 8am-10am
07/06 Chem Rem, NHHS, 2.30pm-4.30pm
08/06 Cluster Electronic Camp, NHHS, 7.30am-1.30pm
08/06 Chem Rem, NHHS, 2.30pm-4.30pm
09/06 SS Rem, NHHS, 8am-10am
10/06 NDP Training, National Stadium, 6.50 am-10am
14/06 Dance Camp, NHHS, 9am-3pm
15/06-19/06 Sec 3 Dancers' Chalet
17/06 NDP Training, National Stadium, 6.50am-10am
19/06 Dance Camp, NHHS, 9am-6pm
20/06 Dance Camp, NHHS, 9am-5pm
21/06 SYF Training, National Stadium, 12.45pm-7.15pm
23/06 SYF Training, National Stadium, 10.15am-1.45pm
24/06 NDP CR1, National Stadium, 12.30pm-9pm
there. n i've got syf frm 9am till 7.15pm on the 1st day of school reopening.very nice.
happi holidays people, if u still haf a holiday, that is.
chapter 5
chapter 5
obviously michelle couldnt wait to call, but it was realli late at night. she came up with an idea. she would wait till everyone else in the house was asleep before she made the call. so she laid on the bed, and waited for the 1st snores.
but. she fell asleep even before that.
she sent an sms apology to dave for not calling him, but inside her, she was hating herself for falling asleep so easily. if onli she din. then mayb dey wud haf stood a chance together. maybe dave wanted to talk to her about the both of them.
days later, michelle met with a friendship problem. a classmate, lisa, was ignoring her for no apparent reason. michelle found herself unable to confide in anyone in her class, so she started sms-ing dave. dave would always be saying, "nevermind if u dont haf a friend in class. im always here for you." michelle didnt know whether to be happi or sad with that. happi that she always has a friend around, or sad that dave n her would only remain as friends.
time passed. the relationship between michelle and lisa turned increasingly sour. michelle took every opportunity to try to patch up with the classmate, but obviously she didnt want to be friends with michelle anymore. she just treated her as if she was invisible.
soon, it was the school's annual road run. michelle never excelled in running, but that day, an invisible force seemed to be controlling her legs. she found herself to haf much more stamina than she imagined. slowly, she overtook one person after another. until she was behind lisa. she overtook her anyway. while overtaking another girl, cindy, michelle heard lisa shout, "cindy! don't lose to her! dont lose to that slut!"
michelle's heart skipped a beat. did she realli hear lisa say that? she didnt take immediate action, she just increased her speed and continued running. in her bubble of thoughts, she decided that, if cindy loses to her, she'll be a slut. thus she will slow down and let cindy overtake her. that moment never came. michelle just kept on running.
when michelle reached the finish line, she was third. she waited for cindy to arrive, but she did onli more than a minute later.
michelle couldnt stop thinking of what lisa had said. she didnt do anything wrong, so what made lisa say that? lisa cant possibly call her a slut for no reason, after all, they were the best of friends a few weeks ago! michelle could stand it no longer. she broke down. she cried.
both teachers and classmates came to comfort michelle, only to see her shake her head, refusing to say anything about what happened. after all, how would you ever be able to tell sumone that your once best friend called u a slut?
the medal across her chest didnt bring her any joy. it was, to her then, just a piece of metal with the words "road run 2006 third place" engraved on it. that was all. it dint come with triumph nor happiness.
the next few days in school, the incident was still swirling in michelle's mind. she looked around in class. all she could see were groups of three or four, sitting together and talking about their own topics. where to go during the holidays, where to find cute boys and what they think about a certain guy. in the midst of the groups, michelle was alone. she felt lonely. she wanted someone with her. whipping out her phone, she sent an sms to dave. " i feel so friendless. is it with me or is it with everyone else? oh fuck. i suck." she realli felt that wae at that time. isnt it true? is she doesnt suck, then why is she alone with no friends? she attempted to join in the group beside her. all it took was just one galce, and the members huddled even closer, apparently afraid that michelle might hear their whispers.
this time, no reply came. when michelle asked dave later that day, dave told her the same thing. i'll always be there for you, our whole class last year will too.
michelle din want that. she wanted to be close to her current classmates. brooding over the past will never help solve current problems. she tried talking to a teacher. the teacher suggested that she write a note to lisa, telling her how she feels and that she wants to know why she's being ignored.
she did, but there was no reply to the note. michelle thought she saw, at the corner of her eye, lisa shredding up the note and throwing the pieces into the bin.
obviously michelle couldnt wait to call, but it was realli late at night. she came up with an idea. she would wait till everyone else in the house was asleep before she made the call. so she laid on the bed, and waited for the 1st snores.
but. she fell asleep even before that.
she sent an sms apology to dave for not calling him, but inside her, she was hating herself for falling asleep so easily. if onli she din. then mayb dey wud haf stood a chance together. maybe dave wanted to talk to her about the both of them.
days later, michelle met with a friendship problem. a classmate, lisa, was ignoring her for no apparent reason. michelle found herself unable to confide in anyone in her class, so she started sms-ing dave. dave would always be saying, "nevermind if u dont haf a friend in class. im always here for you." michelle didnt know whether to be happi or sad with that. happi that she always has a friend around, or sad that dave n her would only remain as friends.
time passed. the relationship between michelle and lisa turned increasingly sour. michelle took every opportunity to try to patch up with the classmate, but obviously she didnt want to be friends with michelle anymore. she just treated her as if she was invisible.
soon, it was the school's annual road run. michelle never excelled in running, but that day, an invisible force seemed to be controlling her legs. she found herself to haf much more stamina than she imagined. slowly, she overtook one person after another. until she was behind lisa. she overtook her anyway. while overtaking another girl, cindy, michelle heard lisa shout, "cindy! don't lose to her! dont lose to that slut!"
michelle's heart skipped a beat. did she realli hear lisa say that? she didnt take immediate action, she just increased her speed and continued running. in her bubble of thoughts, she decided that, if cindy loses to her, she'll be a slut. thus she will slow down and let cindy overtake her. that moment never came. michelle just kept on running.
when michelle reached the finish line, she was third. she waited for cindy to arrive, but she did onli more than a minute later.
michelle couldnt stop thinking of what lisa had said. she didnt do anything wrong, so what made lisa say that? lisa cant possibly call her a slut for no reason, after all, they were the best of friends a few weeks ago! michelle could stand it no longer. she broke down. she cried.
both teachers and classmates came to comfort michelle, only to see her shake her head, refusing to say anything about what happened. after all, how would you ever be able to tell sumone that your once best friend called u a slut?
the medal across her chest didnt bring her any joy. it was, to her then, just a piece of metal with the words "road run 2006 third place" engraved on it. that was all. it dint come with triumph nor happiness.
the next few days in school, the incident was still swirling in michelle's mind. she looked around in class. all she could see were groups of three or four, sitting together and talking about their own topics. where to go during the holidays, where to find cute boys and what they think about a certain guy. in the midst of the groups, michelle was alone. she felt lonely. she wanted someone with her. whipping out her phone, she sent an sms to dave. " i feel so friendless. is it with me or is it with everyone else? oh fuck. i suck." she realli felt that wae at that time. isnt it true? is she doesnt suck, then why is she alone with no friends? she attempted to join in the group beside her. all it took was just one galce, and the members huddled even closer, apparently afraid that michelle might hear their whispers.
this time, no reply came. when michelle asked dave later that day, dave told her the same thing. i'll always be there for you, our whole class last year will too.
michelle din want that. she wanted to be close to her current classmates. brooding over the past will never help solve current problems. she tried talking to a teacher. the teacher suggested that she write a note to lisa, telling her how she feels and that she wants to know why she's being ignored.
she did, but there was no reply to the note. michelle thought she saw, at the corner of her eye, lisa shredding up the note and throwing the pieces into the bin.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
chpt 4
chapter 4
michelle continued going home with dave and tam, and often teased them. she knew dave din really like being teased, but that seemed to be the only things she could talk about when out with them. she felt uneasy whenever she saw them look into each others’ eyes, how she wished it was her who was looking into dave’s eyes. she wanted to be with dave, but she did not want to hurt anyone. especially not dave.
one dae, while going back with the couple, dave suddenly asked michelle, “are you free this saturday?” michelle thought dave really wanted to ask her out, so she saed yes. no words could describe how happi she was then.
however, when she asked of the reason, her heart sank. dave wanted michelle to help choose tam’s birthday present. michelle wanted to conjure up a story that would gif her an excuse to not go, but she felt that to be a really good fren of dave, she should go, as she had promised.
so on Saturday, dave and michelle spent hours alone in the mall. to get dave’s girlfriend’s birthday present. michelle could never imagine herself in this situation, not even in her wildest dreams.
when they were in the mrt on the way home, michelle wanted to start a conversation on how they were in sec 1. but there was something preventing her from talking about her topic. so she jus continued teasing dave about being with tam.
days past. michelle saw the relationship of tam and dave progressing right under her nose. she wanted to, one dae, confess to dave her real feelings and hope that dave will sae something like “you know, i really like you too but u din show it so im now with tam. nevermind, i’ll breakup with her to be with you.”
michelle never had the guts to. and she was sure dave would never sae that to her if she really told him what she felt.
one night, dave sms-ed michelle. “are you free? can call me?”
michelle continued going home with dave and tam, and often teased them. she knew dave din really like being teased, but that seemed to be the only things she could talk about when out with them. she felt uneasy whenever she saw them look into each others’ eyes, how she wished it was her who was looking into dave’s eyes. she wanted to be with dave, but she did not want to hurt anyone. especially not dave.
one dae, while going back with the couple, dave suddenly asked michelle, “are you free this saturday?” michelle thought dave really wanted to ask her out, so she saed yes. no words could describe how happi she was then.
however, when she asked of the reason, her heart sank. dave wanted michelle to help choose tam’s birthday present. michelle wanted to conjure up a story that would gif her an excuse to not go, but she felt that to be a really good fren of dave, she should go, as she had promised.
so on Saturday, dave and michelle spent hours alone in the mall. to get dave’s girlfriend’s birthday present. michelle could never imagine herself in this situation, not even in her wildest dreams.
when they were in the mrt on the way home, michelle wanted to start a conversation on how they were in sec 1. but there was something preventing her from talking about her topic. so she jus continued teasing dave about being with tam.
days past. michelle saw the relationship of tam and dave progressing right under her nose. she wanted to, one dae, confess to dave her real feelings and hope that dave will sae something like “you know, i really like you too but u din show it so im now with tam. nevermind, i’ll breakup with her to be with you.”
michelle never had the guts to. and she was sure dave would never sae that to her if she really told him what she felt.
one night, dave sms-ed michelle. “are you free? can call me?”
Saturday, May 20, 2006
chapter 3
chapter 3
dave and michelle were streamed to different classes, therefore they could not see each other as much as they did in the past two years. it was weird for michelle. she was used to turning back and seeing dave.
out of a sudden, dave stopped going home with his classmates of last year. at first, michelle thought he had something on. thus did not realli bother. after a while, she decided that something was wrong. so she started to go home with dave again. but this time, it was with a few of his current classmates. all girls.
once, when they went for lunch together, michelle, dave and his classmates, michelle realised dave looked at tam in a different way as he does to other girls. it was rather obvious that dave had fallen for tam.
after lunch, they left for home. michelle sms-ed dave, asking him to tell tam if he realli likes her. keying in each letter was like wringing her heart. but michelle just wanted dave to be happy. if he was happy, she'll be too, she thought.
the reply came after a a few seconds. the words struck michelle hard. "we are already together..."
dave and michelle were streamed to different classes, therefore they could not see each other as much as they did in the past two years. it was weird for michelle. she was used to turning back and seeing dave.
out of a sudden, dave stopped going home with his classmates of last year. at first, michelle thought he had something on. thus did not realli bother. after a while, she decided that something was wrong. so she started to go home with dave again. but this time, it was with a few of his current classmates. all girls.
once, when they went for lunch together, michelle, dave and his classmates, michelle realised dave looked at tam in a different way as he does to other girls. it was rather obvious that dave had fallen for tam.
after lunch, they left for home. michelle sms-ed dave, asking him to tell tam if he realli likes her. keying in each letter was like wringing her heart. but michelle just wanted dave to be happy. if he was happy, she'll be too, she thought.
the reply came after a a few seconds. the words struck michelle hard. "we are already together..."
Friday, May 19, 2006
chapter 2
chapter 2
michelle initially wanted to ignore dave for as long as secondary school would take, but on the 2nd day, she found that she could take it no more. it wuz just not possible for her to keep on ignoring dave.
after 2 days of being cold towards dave, michelle became her normal self again at the end of the second day. even with eva around, she just tried to talk to dave as much as she could, but it was obvious that in eva's present, dave was different. even while talking to michelle, he would be stealing glances at eva. michelle saw all this, but didn't want to react. she didn't want to torture herself all over again by ignoring dave.
soon, it was the school holidays. dave no longer sms-ed michelle like he used to. michelle sent him sms-es, but his replies were all short. michelle finally decided to stop sms-ing him altogether.
when school reopened, it was obvious to everyone that dave and michelle were not as close as before. when michelle was ignoring dave, they just thought they had a tiff or something, after all, it "resolved" within two days. what dey din noe was, michelle was faking it all along, after deciding to stop ignoring dave.
"dave <3 michelle" no longer appeared on the whiteboard. it was only "dave <3 eva" now. being sitted at the front row, right in front of the whiteboard, michelle did not show any obvious reaction but the truth was, each letter hurt her like salt rubbed on an open wound.
the year slowly passed with dave getting further and further away from michelle and closer to eva. michelle, however, tried all sorts of ways to get close to dave. she din want to be just friends. she even had to treat eva as one of her closest frens, like she was before dave started everything. it pained her, but what else can she do?
every night, when it was lights out, she would bury her head deep down into her pillow and cry. in her eyes, dave was, as if, a boyfriend which she had broken up with. but of course, dave never thought of michelle as his girlfriend. she was just a close friend of his, but he never knew that michelle was suffering because of him.
the next year, eva transferred out to another school. another better, school, which will porvide her with better education towards a brighter future. when michelle talked about it with dave, he was confident that michelle was wrong. eva had promised him that she'll stay, just for him. however, dave was told by eva's close fren that she had already bought her uniform and books. he could not help but accept the fact that eva would not be in the same school as him for sec 3.
now that eva was gone, michelle took every chance to savage what was left of their friendship. along with other friends, dave and michelle went home together. even though they weren't alone like they used to, michelle was satisfied. at least she could talk to dave like she used to.
chapter 3 cuming up asap!
michelle initially wanted to ignore dave for as long as secondary school would take, but on the 2nd day, she found that she could take it no more. it wuz just not possible for her to keep on ignoring dave.
after 2 days of being cold towards dave, michelle became her normal self again at the end of the second day. even with eva around, she just tried to talk to dave as much as she could, but it was obvious that in eva's present, dave was different. even while talking to michelle, he would be stealing glances at eva. michelle saw all this, but didn't want to react. she didn't want to torture herself all over again by ignoring dave.
soon, it was the school holidays. dave no longer sms-ed michelle like he used to. michelle sent him sms-es, but his replies were all short. michelle finally decided to stop sms-ing him altogether.
when school reopened, it was obvious to everyone that dave and michelle were not as close as before. when michelle was ignoring dave, they just thought they had a tiff or something, after all, it "resolved" within two days. what dey din noe was, michelle was faking it all along, after deciding to stop ignoring dave.
"dave <3 michelle" no longer appeared on the whiteboard. it was only "dave <3 eva" now. being sitted at the front row, right in front of the whiteboard, michelle did not show any obvious reaction but the truth was, each letter hurt her like salt rubbed on an open wound.
the year slowly passed with dave getting further and further away from michelle and closer to eva. michelle, however, tried all sorts of ways to get close to dave. she din want to be just friends. she even had to treat eva as one of her closest frens, like she was before dave started everything. it pained her, but what else can she do?
every night, when it was lights out, she would bury her head deep down into her pillow and cry. in her eyes, dave was, as if, a boyfriend which she had broken up with. but of course, dave never thought of michelle as his girlfriend. she was just a close friend of his, but he never knew that michelle was suffering because of him.
the next year, eva transferred out to another school. another better, school, which will porvide her with better education towards a brighter future. when michelle talked about it with dave, he was confident that michelle was wrong. eva had promised him that she'll stay, just for him. however, dave was told by eva's close fren that she had already bought her uniform and books. he could not help but accept the fact that eva would not be in the same school as him for sec 3.
now that eva was gone, michelle took every chance to savage what was left of their friendship. along with other friends, dave and michelle went home together. even though they weren't alone like they used to, michelle was satisfied. at least she could talk to dave like she used to.
chapter 3 cuming up asap!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
hehh. i jus realised smthn. i got 14/40 for amaths common test, n now i got 28/80 for mye. exact proportion la! x2 onli...(:
2dae had dance frm 8-12. boy do i pity those non tap dancers. under the sun 4 so long.
ms yeo thinks she's successful in disciplining the sec 1 n 2s when they cheer and clap to watever scoldings she give.
my blouse was onli worn on the journey to sch n for flag raising. the rest of the time i wuz wearing camp tee. haas. cuz after dance assembly den lunch dun wanna change cuz after sch got napfa mahh.
hmm.napfa. started wif shuttle run. 11.69 secs. sit ups. 50. sbj. 164. sit n reach. 44. ipu. 18 cuz mr chow saed enough liao.
aaron carn get a gold cuz he's 6 cm short in sbj)':
left sch wif aaron n annabel n wanting. den wanting took bus n annabel went back to get jiawen. so mi n aaron go macs wait 4 dem. left at 6+. aaron sent her hm, jiawen took bus n so i had to go hm alone. thnx la...
here's chapter 1 of a story:
dave n michelle were classmates since sec 1. not only were they classmates, they were rather good frens too. they could do almost everything together, even thogh they were from different sexes. people often mocked them as a couple, and even though that wasn't true, it didn't make their friendship falter one bit.
slowly, the relationship between the two became more than friendship. michelle found herself thinking of leaning on dave eveytime they sat beside each other. but that never happened. she never had the guts. all she could to was to smile at the idea, thinking of how nice it would be.
as time passed, dave got closer to another girl, eva. the whole class knew. but whether it was a serious relationship, nobody knew. it was no longer "dave <3 michelle" on the whiteboard during breaktimes, now it was "dave <3 eva". michelle had this undescribable feeling within her. she wanted to know if dave was realli with eva, but could never bring herself to ask dave the question.
dave used to leave school for home with michelle alone, but now eva joined in as well. at many times, dave and eva would be discussing topics stranger to michelle, but obviously they didn't care. they jus left her out. michelle thus decided that keeping a certain distance away from dave would be a good choice.
stay tuned for chapter 2!(:
2dae had dance frm 8-12. boy do i pity those non tap dancers. under the sun 4 so long.
ms yeo thinks she's successful in disciplining the sec 1 n 2s when they cheer and clap to watever scoldings she give.
my blouse was onli worn on the journey to sch n for flag raising. the rest of the time i wuz wearing camp tee. haas. cuz after dance assembly den lunch dun wanna change cuz after sch got napfa mahh.
hmm.napfa. started wif shuttle run. 11.69 secs. sit ups. 50. sbj. 164. sit n reach. 44. ipu. 18 cuz mr chow saed enough liao.
aaron carn get a gold cuz he's 6 cm short in sbj)':
left sch wif aaron n annabel n wanting. den wanting took bus n annabel went back to get jiawen. so mi n aaron go macs wait 4 dem. left at 6+. aaron sent her hm, jiawen took bus n so i had to go hm alone. thnx la...
here's chapter 1 of a story:
dave n michelle were classmates since sec 1. not only were they classmates, they were rather good frens too. they could do almost everything together, even thogh they were from different sexes. people often mocked them as a couple, and even though that wasn't true, it didn't make their friendship falter one bit.
slowly, the relationship between the two became more than friendship. michelle found herself thinking of leaning on dave eveytime they sat beside each other. but that never happened. she never had the guts. all she could to was to smile at the idea, thinking of how nice it would be.
as time passed, dave got closer to another girl, eva. the whole class knew. but whether it was a serious relationship, nobody knew. it was no longer "dave <3 michelle" on the whiteboard during breaktimes, now it was "dave <3 eva". michelle had this undescribable feeling within her. she wanted to know if dave was realli with eva, but could never bring herself to ask dave the question.
dave used to leave school for home with michelle alone, but now eva joined in as well. at many times, dave and eva would be discussing topics stranger to michelle, but obviously they didn't care. they jus left her out. michelle thus decided that keeping a certain distance away from dave would be a good choice.
stay tuned for chapter 2!(:
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
moelc
3rd lang break now...jus a mere 15 mins...not supposed to use the comp but rule r made to b broken isnt it? (:
got bac 3 results 2dae.
chinese-62/100, yingyong wen 16/20, zuowen 47.5/70, paper 2 60.5/110. B4
elect geog-64/100,B3
chem-49.5/100,D7 or C6?
erm, how mani actually met my expectations?
yar yar. i want my half mark for chem.
i guess my fate isnt as bad as aaron's. 7 fail 2 pass. pro la he...
im nt looking forward to 2moro. den i ll get my maths bac. the horror. ):
i misplaced (lost isnt a nice word) my purble black pen. yepp. the black pen's that purple. im sad. shld b sumwjher in cr13...clit classrm...i cudnt find it in my pencilcase when i wuz on the mrt...
i miss my pen already...)':
got bac 3 results 2dae.
chinese-62/100, yingyong wen 16/20, zuowen 47.5/70, paper 2 60.5/110. B4
elect geog-64/100,B3
chem-49.5/100,D7 or C6?
erm, how mani actually met my expectations?
yar yar. i want my half mark for chem.
i guess my fate isnt as bad as aaron's. 7 fail 2 pass. pro la he...
im nt looking forward to 2moro. den i ll get my maths bac. the horror. ):
i misplaced (lost isnt a nice word) my purble black pen. yepp. the black pen's that purple. im sad. shld b sumwjher in cr13...clit classrm...i cudnt find it in my pencilcase when i wuz on the mrt...
i miss my pen already...)':
Monday, May 15, 2006
2moro sch!
after 5 daes of holiday, it's school 2moro!
hehh. 5 daes of hols after 5 gruelling daes of exams. actually exams weren't that gruelling. i slacked quite abit.
expected results:
el-b3 or a2 tho my hair raising experience wuznt THAT hair raising...
cl-a2 or a1
emaths-fail...but at least d7 ba
amaths-fail too...mayb an e? hopefully d too(:
chem-b4 or b3...i realli studied hor!
bio-b3 or b2
elect geog-b3 or a2? i haf nvr passed geog b4...
ss-a2 or a1, i dare not gif ms sathi anything worse. she realli put alot of effort into us.
clit-b3 or a2...i'll b realli happi den cuz dere were onli 2 qns on tang shi...wth lor...tt's like, 32 marks? ovr 100. yar.
dese 5 days weren't realli well spent. i cud haf gone out for running or swimming or cycling or anything to like, burn my fats? but instead i stayed at hm, sticking to crunches n skipping, n dose were done onli when i felt like it. bleaghs. so i think i gained more than i lose. die die die.
on a brighter side, i read 2 books! each one within a dae, so it turned out onli 2 out of the 5 daes were realli spent wisely. hmm. Where Is He now? is a nice book. Budden. Bad influence. all the affairs n divorce dose sorta stuff. 2nd book wuz The Da Vinci Code! not tt i hadn't read that before, but i suppose a 2nd read wud b nice. i din like the ending part. made the whole book a luv story instead.
my mum saes blogging's bad. cuz im like, pouring out my private stuff online. like what? jk's death? tt isnt realli private bah. anw, tt's wat blogs r for isnt it? to let others noe ur tots.
ohwells. i think im getting fat.): i've been having ice cream like, almost everydae dese 5 daes...
went out on sat 2 supposedly get a new set of swimsuit. cuz the one i haf now's rather loose. yepp. dere wuz this pink wan wif stripes, halter n boyleg. nice. budden. sizes were either too small or too big 4 mi. awww.
sunday. went to market. whole family. yes yes, i noe it's mothers' dae. but i dun realli care. dere isnt a daughters' dae anw. had breakfast. beancurd. den jus walked ard getting stuff wif my mum. den when we were buying lunch the auntie wuz like, "2dae mothers' dae wat u get 4 ur mum?" i tot 4 awhile. since we were getting noodles, i replied," nthn la, feed her noodles enuf liao."
oh darn. i think my reply wuz dumb. n of cuz i din do as i saed.
i freaking missed the last episode of survivor la! the 1.15 pm wan. encore at 11 budden it's till 2. mayb i'll jus watch the finals n skip the reunion show. but tt'll b till abt 1? blahs. i dun care.
sch 2moro ll most probably b the gifing out of results. no maths. at least the worst's put at the bac. haha.
n dey passed down sum stoopid msg calling all tap dancers to meet in studio at 9am 2moro for costume measurement. hello? 9am? elective geog lesson. how can the rep not be dere. erm. tt's just an excuse. u noe i ll nvr miss lessons for dance. the onli times i did wuz syf n cny i think. yepyep.tt's exactly why i din do well for speech dae n din participate in 88th n nkf. lessons r more impt. dun u ppl out dere try agruing wif mi. i noe. dance rawks. but sch's more impt for mi. cuz im slow in learning. u all clever, u all can learn fast n afford to skip lessons. i carn.
i kinda 4got how to go to sch. walk to mrt station, taking mrt to clementi, walk to nh, n is meeting aaron halfwae part of the routine? i dunno. but sumhow i meet him at the path to nh sumtimes.
honglin's in china liao. hope her grandma or greatgrandma's ok.
sec3 dancers ic for planning of dance camp dis june. haa. i've nvr realli been to a whole dance camp b4. sec 1 i had prize giving. sec 2 i had...4got le lar. but i know i wuznt dere for the whole thing.
dis year's going to b great! i noe it. cuz we wun screw it up like speech dae nemore. we're going to work 2gether, all the 21 gals n ?? guys.we're going to make sure all of u haf a nice time at the camp. oops. isit supposed to b ovrnite?
18th. napfa n deutsch midyr. dey call it the semester test. ehh. tt means i carn go for napfa. cuz it's going to b after school. n it's NOT going to make me miss my test. nthn makes mi miss deutsch. realli. ask the dancers. last yr cny full dress. i din even wait for dance's turn n i left. i had a test tt dae, n i turned up, for the 1st time, in dance tee. haa. speech dae full dress. i stayed till like, 3.30? yar. den took bus dere but wuz still late. so nxt time i noe. latest 3 mus leave nh.
oh mans. this is a long post. shall end it soon.
hu wants to go watch nc16 da vinci wif mi?
hehh. 5 daes of hols after 5 gruelling daes of exams. actually exams weren't that gruelling. i slacked quite abit.
expected results:
el-b3 or a2 tho my hair raising experience wuznt THAT hair raising...
cl-a2 or a1
emaths-fail...but at least d7 ba
amaths-fail too...mayb an e? hopefully d too(:
chem-b4 or b3...i realli studied hor!
bio-b3 or b2
elect geog-b3 or a2? i haf nvr passed geog b4...
ss-a2 or a1, i dare not gif ms sathi anything worse. she realli put alot of effort into us.
clit-b3 or a2...i'll b realli happi den cuz dere were onli 2 qns on tang shi...wth lor...tt's like, 32 marks? ovr 100. yar.
dese 5 days weren't realli well spent. i cud haf gone out for running or swimming or cycling or anything to like, burn my fats? but instead i stayed at hm, sticking to crunches n skipping, n dose were done onli when i felt like it. bleaghs. so i think i gained more than i lose. die die die.
on a brighter side, i read 2 books! each one within a dae, so it turned out onli 2 out of the 5 daes were realli spent wisely. hmm. Where Is He now? is a nice book. Budden. Bad influence. all the affairs n divorce dose sorta stuff. 2nd book wuz The Da Vinci Code! not tt i hadn't read that before, but i suppose a 2nd read wud b nice. i din like the ending part. made the whole book a luv story instead.
my mum saes blogging's bad. cuz im like, pouring out my private stuff online. like what? jk's death? tt isnt realli private bah. anw, tt's wat blogs r for isnt it? to let others noe ur tots.
ohwells. i think im getting fat.): i've been having ice cream like, almost everydae dese 5 daes...
went out on sat 2 supposedly get a new set of swimsuit. cuz the one i haf now's rather loose. yepp. dere wuz this pink wan wif stripes, halter n boyleg. nice. budden. sizes were either too small or too big 4 mi. awww.
sunday. went to market. whole family. yes yes, i noe it's mothers' dae. but i dun realli care. dere isnt a daughters' dae anw. had breakfast. beancurd. den jus walked ard getting stuff wif my mum. den when we were buying lunch the auntie wuz like, "2dae mothers' dae wat u get 4 ur mum?" i tot 4 awhile. since we were getting noodles, i replied," nthn la, feed her noodles enuf liao."
oh darn. i think my reply wuz dumb. n of cuz i din do as i saed.
i freaking missed the last episode of survivor la! the 1.15 pm wan. encore at 11 budden it's till 2. mayb i'll jus watch the finals n skip the reunion show. but tt'll b till abt 1? blahs. i dun care.
sch 2moro ll most probably b the gifing out of results. no maths. at least the worst's put at the bac. haha.
n dey passed down sum stoopid msg calling all tap dancers to meet in studio at 9am 2moro for costume measurement. hello? 9am? elective geog lesson. how can the rep not be dere. erm. tt's just an excuse. u noe i ll nvr miss lessons for dance. the onli times i did wuz syf n cny i think. yepyep.tt's exactly why i din do well for speech dae n din participate in 88th n nkf. lessons r more impt. dun u ppl out dere try agruing wif mi. i noe. dance rawks. but sch's more impt for mi. cuz im slow in learning. u all clever, u all can learn fast n afford to skip lessons. i carn.
i kinda 4got how to go to sch. walk to mrt station, taking mrt to clementi, walk to nh, n is meeting aaron halfwae part of the routine? i dunno. but sumhow i meet him at the path to nh sumtimes.
honglin's in china liao. hope her grandma or greatgrandma's ok.
sec3 dancers ic for planning of dance camp dis june. haa. i've nvr realli been to a whole dance camp b4. sec 1 i had prize giving. sec 2 i had...4got le lar. but i know i wuznt dere for the whole thing.
dis year's going to b great! i noe it. cuz we wun screw it up like speech dae nemore. we're going to work 2gether, all the 21 gals n ?? guys.we're going to make sure all of u haf a nice time at the camp. oops. isit supposed to b ovrnite?
18th. napfa n deutsch midyr. dey call it the semester test. ehh. tt means i carn go for napfa. cuz it's going to b after school. n it's NOT going to make me miss my test. nthn makes mi miss deutsch. realli. ask the dancers. last yr cny full dress. i din even wait for dance's turn n i left. i had a test tt dae, n i turned up, for the 1st time, in dance tee. haa. speech dae full dress. i stayed till like, 3.30? yar. den took bus dere but wuz still late. so nxt time i noe. latest 3 mus leave nh.
oh mans. this is a long post. shall end it soon.
hu wants to go watch nc16 da vinci wif mi?
Monday, May 08, 2006
one month
it's been one month since saturday, 8 April 2006. I still rmb, tt evening, i went to bugis wif my mum. but meanwhile, a life was taken. n i onli knew on the 10th.
one month. tt's how long i told mrs ng i gave myself to accept. i did it.
one month. so many things has happened. a few gals in 311 haf dyed their hair brown, amber attempted suicide twice, n self mutilated dunno how mani times. we haf also lacked behind the other sec 3 classes by a fair bit in this one month. we haf had class tests, the 29 of us. chem had a few missing people. sports day. green hair! mye. 4 more papers left. chem, ss, amaths, clit. n yar. i made kuala angry by doing dunno wat. he's still rather cold 2wards me now.
his table has been removed, 2gether wif his books n the sweet i gave him. i guess the only stuff we haf of him left bhind r in his locked locker n the profile card on the noticeboard. theleveners.
i still owe him a box of chicken biscuits. i dunno when i'll b able to repay it to him. i don't want it to b too long into the future, i dun want him to wait too long.
yes, i do still rmb 4 Jan. but sumhow it doesnt make a big impact like 8 April. mayb it's true. time heals all wounds.
but this is one wound i wudnt want to heal.
one month. tt's how long i told mrs ng i gave myself to accept. i did it.
one month. so many things has happened. a few gals in 311 haf dyed their hair brown, amber attempted suicide twice, n self mutilated dunno how mani times. we haf also lacked behind the other sec 3 classes by a fair bit in this one month. we haf had class tests, the 29 of us. chem had a few missing people. sports day. green hair! mye. 4 more papers left. chem, ss, amaths, clit. n yar. i made kuala angry by doing dunno wat. he's still rather cold 2wards me now.
his table has been removed, 2gether wif his books n the sweet i gave him. i guess the only stuff we haf of him left bhind r in his locked locker n the profile card on the noticeboard. theleveners.
i still owe him a box of chicken biscuits. i dunno when i'll b able to repay it to him. i don't want it to b too long into the future, i dun want him to wait too long.
yes, i do still rmb 4 Jan. but sumhow it doesnt make a big impact like 8 April. mayb it's true. time heals all wounds.
but this is one wound i wudnt want to heal.
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