awesome playlist

sometimes shuffle's psychic.

airplanes
white horse
bad romance
i'll be there for you

almost cried in the train.

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
Cause after all the partyin' and smashin' and crashin'
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
And when you're staring at that phone in your lap
And you hoping but them people never call you back
But that's just how the story unfolds
You get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel
And they sayin' what would you wish for
If you had one chance
So airplane airplane sorry I'm late
I'm on my way so don't close that gate
If I don't make that then I'll switch my flight
And I'll be right back at it by the end of the night

Somebody take me back to the days
Before this was a job, before I got paid
Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank
Yeah back when I was tryin' to get into the subway
And back when I was rappin' for the hell of it
But now a days we rappin' to stay relevant
I'm guessin that if we can make some wishes outta airplanes
Then maybe yo maybe I'll go back to the days
Before the politics that we call the rap game
And back when ain't nobody listened to my mix tape
And back before I tried to cover up my slang
But this is for the Cada, what's up Bobby Ray
So can I get a wish to end the politics
And get back to the music that started this sh-t
So here I stand and then again I say
I'm hopin' we can make some wishes outta airplanes

Say you're sorry, that face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you

Holding on, the days drag on
Stupid girl, I should have known
I should have known

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell

This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around

Baby I was naive, got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings, now I know

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell

This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now

And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late to catch me now

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want a bad,your bad romance

I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

I want your love
And I want your revenge
I want your love
I don’t wanna be friends

So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even
your year, but

I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
'Cause you're there for me too

You're still in bed at ten and work began at eight
You've burned your breakfast so far, things are going great
Your mama warned you there'd be days like these
But she didn't tell you when the world has brought you down to your knees, and

No one could ever know me
No one could ever see me
Since you're the only one who knows what it's like to be me
Someone to face the day with
Make it through all the best with
Someone who always laughs at
Even when I'm at my worst, I'm best with you
Yeah!

I'll be there for you
I'll be there for you
I'll be there for you
'Cause you're there for me too

the world's coolest intern...

...will be diyana!

go:

1) like her blogpost application
2) follow her blog (scroll right to the end, the right hand column)

here here!

i recommend one okay! won't go wrong one. this girl practically lives in tweetsville and facebook.

and is very nice.

and bubbly.

and committed.

and cute.

and loving.

and funny.

and pretty.

and famous. (esp after the organism/orgasm saga HAHAHA)

and will be even more famous and $30k richer!

(of which i will deduct 10% informant fee, but don't tell her yet. i don't think her secretary visits this blog.)

never included so many hyperlinks in a blogpost before. only four don't lead to diyana's blogpost application. go figure.

busy busy busy bee

collected my se reflection paper from the benches outside the grad room yesterday evening. an a+ has less impact when it's written in pencil and left there among a pile of other papers for you to dig out yourself.

now i can properly focus on the se project. this is a very different essay, but it kinda makes me feel at peace writing it. maybe buddha's really watching over me.

the topic's buddhism in thailand by the way. not that i've converted.

you've been here before.

credits to the tumblrers.

days ahead

are horribly uncertain.

for one, i've signed up for fll ypc. not exactly the smartest thing to do when you've got to fork out your time between the last few weeks of sem 1 and the first few weeks of sem 2. but i'll be an awesome experience.

secondly, nearing end of week 8 of my first semester, i still don't know how what i've absorbed so far can contribute to my cap. but at least readings are making more sense now. not that i actually have any idea how to start on my sea project...

third, my boyfriend's still missing. no smses, no calls, no emails, no surprise visits, no passed-around messages. don't know how much longer i can tolerate this , don't understand the language my heart's speaking to me. glad that friends like Y and A and D are here though(:

milestone!

completed my first ever essay for university. only this is called a reflection paper and

1) it sounds so much less intimidating

2) my completed work doesn't sound reflecting at all.

i just hope i didn't cite wrongly. and i get a decent grade.

it's 2.47am now, the last week day of my recess week. gonna accompany diyana to the studio (that's the name of the studio!) at amoy street later for her photoshoot. i hope we don't get lost. and swimsuit shopping after that! but i've got this bugging feeling that i won't get anything.

rawr.

i miss my boyfriend.

you know,

http://akosishei.tumblr.com/

moments like this

my younger brother ran past a wheelchair-bound old man. then he tapped me on the shoulder, and said softly with hints of guilt,

"i think i just made him feel very sad, because he can't even walk."

the lousiest feeling ever.

you know the feeling where you're lost in a new environment and you need somebody to talk to, but the person that you want to confide in just blatantly ignores you?

yeah, that's how i've been feeling for the past few weeks.

there must be something more

than pure lethargy to summarise my mood right now. i've been sleeping alot the past two days, and i think tonight wouldn't be an exception. i haven't even read my readings for this week and it's friday in 3 hours!

but sleeping early also means my biological clock wakes me up early, and i actually feel more refreshed than i did sleeping in the past few weeks. maybe this shoul become a habit. sleep early, wake up early, go to school and mug.

and i can't believe week 4's coming to an end. this sem only has 13 study weeks! so like, i just entered uni, and i'm already around one third through my first semester. so weird please.

and projects! just had eu project meeting yesterday, and i'm pretty intimidated. like everyone knows what's going on and i'm still floating around! gek project also. got to know C in the lt today and first thing he asked was, "how's your project getting along?" i had to sheepishly answer that we haven't even started. i haven't even met my groupmates!

ahhh please let my sem one be okay. i want a decent cap! and i will do my readings. i will. i'll try, at least.

kinda sucky to have readings in both ivle and rbr. since everybody's gonna print it anyway why not get it on ivle? and the prof mixed up clifford a with clifford b so we got a reading from the wrong clifford and that wrong reading isn't needed in this module.

but at least i've got most of my eu and ps readings sorted out. i hope i find people to share the prining costs in my coming semesters too!

i still think uni life's quite uneventful so far. german and french club hasn't called for meeting yet, idk what's in store for me as an arts affiliate, i forgot if i signed up for nussu but i'm prolly gonna drop nuspa, and ps society hasn't got back to me. idk if i made the right choice to drop fencing (late days plus expensive), but i hope i don't grow fat with all those food at fass.

and i hope to grow enough brains to interest myself with sea and eu lifestyles.

how man.

realised i have zero interest in how france/europe/sea was like in the past. don't care what the people were like, what they thought, what they did.

should have totally stuck to science instead of trying to be clever and jump the wagon.

last day):

today, 24th august 2010, marks my last day of official duty as a station host at hortpark. today is officially the last time i'm contributing to the exploration journey segment of the culture and education programme, which is almost the backbone of the inaugural youth olympic games held in singapore.

a flurry of feelings tsunami-ed in my brain and heart when we were all gathered together for our last debrief. sure, these days i've been skipping some lectures and some home-cooked dinner, but i've been in company of the awesome hortpark family. we've been working together whether rain or shine, sweating together, gossiping together, playing monopoly deal together, setting up our stations together, and the list goes on. nobody does anything alone.

this kinda feels like graduation. leaving a phase of life which i have prepared a great deal for, where i have learnt many skills, where i have made many friends, which i have made some sacrifices for, which at times i thought was absolutely troublesome, and which turned me into a better person.

like leaving school, i honestly don't know what to expect after today. my life will change, but how exactly? my life will return to normal, but do i remember what it used to be? will i spend my saturdays as meaningful as i have in weeks prior to the games? what will happen to my yog uniform? will we still remain a closely-knit family? or will we go our separate ways and leave all the memories simply as what they are?

from a more macro point of view, after yog, how different will singapore be? what happens after all the decoration has been taken down? what will singaporeans remember yog as? what will the athletes and team officials share with their family and friends when they return home? how differently will the world see singapore?

so many uncertainties, but one thing is clear-- i will miss this experience.

what dog food?

temasek review has been brainwashing singaporeans. not all volunteers are given pathetic food.

i'm a volunteer for the youth olympic games. i volunteered. i was not volunteered. i willingly put my name down since 2008, shortly after the announcement that singapore has won the bid.

i am now a station host team leader at hortpark. my venue manager and his team of syogoc staff are working very hard to ensure that volunteers are well-fed.

during every training session prior to the games, we were given both lunch and tea break. lunches were most of the time lunch boxes that could cost up to $5 each. once, we had pizza with chicken wings and bengawan solo kuehs for tea break. we also had old chang kee's fried items before. during the last combined training, we even celebrated the birthdays of volunteers with a huge birthday cake. everyone was given a slice after the cake-cutting.

below shows what i had for lunch on my 18th august duty:

rice with a chicken dish, a fish dish, vegetable, and a fried dumpline. with dessert. to be fair, fruits aren't served to us everyday, but we definitely get four items with our rice plus dessert. and free flow of coke/100plus/mineral water from the fridge. at my station, there's also a water dispenser to keep us volunteers (and athletes who come by) hydrated.

i know we're on the topic of food but i have to say this: i am really honoured to be part of the hortpark team. we're like one big family, everyone are friends with each other, we talk to the staff like we're good friends and we actually miss the people who are in the other shift.

traditions live

having a laptop makes taking notes during lectures much more convenient, but i just labelled four notebooks (little paper books) with my module codes.

but i prolly should tryout onenote. though having my notes in an intangible form still doesn't put my mind at ease.

i don't mind having my readings floating about in the world wide web though, saves my wallet. i hope using the laptop to read one page contributes less than 4.5cents to the electricity bill =X

journey of the youth olympic flame

today's relay is scheduled at around my neighbourhood, and my dad even applied for leave to witness it. and i saw the relay right in front of my eyes!

it was a long wait for a few short seconds. we stood at the junction since 9am, but didn't see police vehicles till 9.45. there was a huge parade of vehicles, including open-top buses from coca cola and samsung. then came the media truck, with the runners following behind.

a bunch of guys were doing the relay, and they ran every stretch together so there wasn't a real torch-passing moment. i've got to scrounge around for photos of the guys though, since my camera battery went flat just before they ran past. and i didn't get to replace battery in time. so i've only got photos of the front of the entourage and the aftermath.

post them when i'm back from school!

totally serves you right steph..

..for having a bbq straight after o week. for being such a food lover that carcinogens didn't matter.

now i'm down with sore throat, running nose and cough.

ndp last night. sebas was on tv wiping his face with my wet tissue. a friend called him to announce that. funny shit totally going to watch encore just for that. and honestly, ndp is better than yog cr3! hopefully they've spruced it up for the eyes of the world in FOUR days. omgomgomg 4-freaking days.

day one of school was lonely. and i couldn't find the arts club recruitment booth though i paced across the as1/6 pathway twice. shall try again tomorrow. lecture was okay. 1545 bell made me jump a little. how come no seniors warned us of that alarm!

approached dr F to say that i'll be away for a lecture cuz of YOG. i thought i'd get a "sucks to be you i'm not gonna do anything for just one student" kinda answer but no, he was nice and looked like he was genuinely searching for a way out for me! very very touched!

found people to accompany me tomorrow! day two will be lonely no more, yay me(:

need to ask: how to connect to nus wireless! and how to go print readings!

i think i wanna get subscription to today. but like that might as well get straits times right.

i'm a proud owner of

my laptop!

dad was so behind time that when my mom and i came back with the new purchase he said, "owning a laptop at under 20 years old is not easy."

maybe he meant it as not easy because not many people can survive not owning a laptop for that long? idk.

and i need to refresh my academic essay writing skills. need to start cheeming up my arguments. need to put capital letters back into my sentences.

all over again

i'm missing out alot of info that people have because they went to arts camp. so just because those people were free enough to attend arts camp, they get more opportunities in fass, and i'm just a wandering soul with (too big?) dreams.

this is reminiscent of jc. never attend line camp=destined to not be a jj leader.

i really hope this time it'll be different.

i want to be more than myself.

beyond gold: the yog documentary

ADVERTORIAL (though i'm not earning money from it)

it started from this:




and then this:
and so on my last day of work, i went MIA for a few hours.


the preview theatre at cine's hidden, so mysterious. had to ask a staff there for directions.


the ticket says "bloggers"! and we were each entitled to a small combo hence the drink and popcorn.

screening of the documentary started half an hour late, after the COO arrived and gave his speech.

beyond gold follows the lives of three athletes, A (cycling), C (judo) and R (fencing), people inside lyo and merly (most of them are guys), and syogoc members.

i think A is quite good looking (and was sitting just below sebas, whom i gave the other ticket to), so i shall start with him. he started competitive cycling after his dad advised him to concentrate on one of his many hobbies, and after competing for a few months, he had already earned himself three medals. his family is constantly behind him, especially his dad, who was all supportive and excited in the show. he was at the preview with A too.

C is a rj student. switched primary schools due to gep. was quite fat. started judo in sec 1 just because he thought it was a fun sport. coach thought he was an ordinary kid, but realised he's really hardworking. the documentary showed clips of C competing and training, and his expression always shows one thing i find common among many rj students: the hunger to win. not a bad thing, i must say. it's prolly what brought all of them so far. the most memorable part of the documentary (not just the parts that featured C), is where after he lost a match to the south africa representative, the guy actually came to him and asked, "are you okay?", because it was a really rough match.

R is a hc girl. she took up fencing in sec 2 after watching parent trap, where lindsay lohan did a fencing scene. she thought the sport was just for leisure, but her coach saw the talent in this left-handed fencer, and groomed her to the youth olympian she will be. R got the chance to train with a left-handed olympian, and you can totally see the bond between the two lefties. like the olympian said, "a left-hander understands another better than a right-hander."

beyond gold also gives us an insight into how the mascots were chosen and made (spray painting of the eyes was quite cool). little post-it strips represented the votes given to the submissions, but i was a little disappointed that no credit was given to the designer(s). it was really interesting though, to see how moves were choreographed for lyo and merly. the hair-flicking action by merly seems normal, but wait till you see the behind-the-scenes. it got the whole theatre laughing.

CEP (culture and education programme) was featured too, and andy was on screen for like two seconds! and sadly they only filmed at marina barrage, no hortpark scenes.

the friendship camp last year was in the video as well, and like all camps, it's really touching when you see previously-strangers supporting and encouraging each other.

oh yes, i couldn't help but feel a little proud when they played the bid-awarding video and showed jj students jumping around after knowing we got the rights. and i was kinda touched that they brought the torch to northlight.

little bite of unimportant but interesting info: vivian blalakrishnan brought his son to both the mascot launch and the 1 year countdown, and his son was wearing the same shirt at both events. and the head of yog has a unibrow. look out for that!(:

leaving you with a quote from an olympian present at the friendship camp, "there are three kinds of feelings. the silver feeling, the bronze feeling, and the gold feeling. and the feeling i like best, of course, is the gold feeling."

watch beyond gold on channel 5, 7 aug, 5.30-6.30pm, or 14 aug 6.45-7.45pm. (just before the opening ceremony) and read the media release of beyond gold here!

beyond gold

seriously. this yog has presented me with so many priceless opportunities. my experience as a volunteer, like the aptly named yog documentary, will be "beyond gold".

i'm one of the 3 selected volunteer bloggers for the media preview of the documentary tomorrow, so stay tuned for the very exciting update coming up!

oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah, HEY!