time passes, things happen.

hard work gets one far, but does it guarantee a happy life ahead?

as i spammed my fb friends to get them to vote for me for nssl's competition, i came across so many friends who are going places higher, places better.

i've got to know these people because of my relatively high psle results. it was that three digits that brought me this far, i guess. without it i don't think i would have been able to experience that psychometric test. without it i won't have been sent so many scholarship invitations. without it i won't have had the opportunity to study german.

my results have definitely deviated from the norm, i.e. the people who scored that high then. there are people going to law school, people going to med school, people going overseas, people having to defer ns, but i'll be here, in singapore, in nus, in fass.

i think i have wasted quite abit of taxpayers' money, but well, i'm happy with what i have.

the future's uncertain, but i have people to endure this journey with me(:

Dr Bob Moorehead

The Paradox of Our Age

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less. We buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; We have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We plan more, but accomplish less. We write more, but learn less. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition. These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window but nothing in the stock room. Indeed, these are the times!

suspicions

i think my work comp is rigged. can't ever connect to msn when everyone else can. prolly someone's jealous that i don't have alot of work to do.

idk, just because i am a temp doesn't mean i have to be excluded from all your little gatherings, especially since the expenses are to be claimed. and i'm not deaf, i can hear your discussions about how to get there, what to eat etc. adults.

on a brighter note, i have finally conquered the jobscentral learning challenge. with many thanks to K and K of course. now K and i are a little obsessed with klueless 5.

spoilt for choice

never knew my results could take me this far.

ever felt so spoilt for choice that you wish someone would just make the choice for you and force you down that path?

the internet is screwed.

everything is taking a long time to load today. boo.

had yog team leaders' training today. at the other end of singapore, 11 tampines concourse. that building doesn't have a name. the address is the name. how uncreative.

idk, i don't think it made alot of sense to bring the leaders to a misc location just for training. at an extreme location of sg some more. what's wrong with the kay siang road hq. i'm sure it has rooms the same size as the one that we were in. and i won't have to wake up at six and spend 1 hour plus in the train to get there.

see that's the problem with sg. they assume we're a small country, it doesn't really matter where events are. and when you complain it's too far away, they site another country as example. e.g., usa.

"travel from one end to another end of america then is far la! you travel from sg's west to east only mah!"

but idt americans have interstate stuff frequently right. and their states usually aren't the size of sg right. idk, correct me if i'm wrong. this is just a teenager ranting about long rides. a tenager that hasn't gotten over the fact that she's paying adult fare now.

okay enough about locations and transport.

the people.

yog. global event. everybody wants to be part of it. so we have people ranging from 17 to 70. i think that thomas guy's lying with that 70 year old thing but whatever, 17 to 70 sounds nice.

but the thing is, you know how the generation gap exists. between parents and children, between grandparents and grandchildren. putting 40 of us there was like a gigantic family reunion of three generations. for ten hours. making us interact. getting our opinions on issues.

confirm got problem one what.

maybe i'm too used to heartware's environment, all the young people, we just say what we want and everybody takes it with a pinch of salt. and everybody ends up making friends and being happy. but here different. you talk abit louder, try to drop abit of humour/sacarsm, the older ones start to get defensive and start staring. where did my (little bit of) freedom of speech go.

but of course, like during jj tutorials, i obviously am aware of the others being pissed, and i continue being who i am. just too bad you got a more talkative/opinionated girl in the class.

i'm not gonna take this training session as a benchmark setter for the people. too way inaccurate. we definitely need to know each other more. like any other senior person we bump into on the streets, i believe these adults have valuable input, it's just about how we get it out of them, and how they share it with us. a mutual understanding needs to be there. today marks the first step, and we've got a whole marthon to run.

112 days to go.

i think the most intersting part of today's training was when we were tasked to line ourselves up in three manners, height, age and volunteer experience level.

i'm not very tall and not very old, so i was at the beginning side of the curve the first two tries. then the third came. we weren't supposed to speak, so i held up my hand indicating 6 (events volunteered for) and voila i ended up at the other end of the curve. and suddenly i felt damn young. and accomplished.

not pouring cold water, but i hope syogoc doesn't get enough torchbearers. cuz my dad and bro missed the application date and my dad really wants to sign up. so i hope they'll open applications again. otherwise i might have to find string to pull.

fha on fri, bloody big event. expo hall 2 to hall 9. flour mill guy stopped us and handed us packages of.........neckties. Y was totally taken aback by how the guy waved her/us down. i initially thought the know each other. but, flour mill and neckties (no company name inscribed), what connection? got made in deutschland carrot hazelnut chocolate. interesting only.

lesson learnt from fha: business is scary. many of the relationships forged are just on the surface. you give me a good price, i work with you, somebody else quotes me lower, too bad, bye.

or is it "welcome to the real world, steph."?

thank god?

i understand the need for some people to have a holy being in their lives. i think i need god too, he's the one i talk to when i'm totally spooked out in my bathroom/when i start imagining weird stuff in the dark/when life's a bitch for me.

but, giving thanks to him the first thing you get a star award? not my cup of tea. imo religion shouldn't be brought to television. though i have to be grateful our star awards isn't spooky ritualistic vmas.

five days.

been part of the morning and evening crowd for a week. i've learnt that shoving gets you far. so does acting dao.

this office culture's definitely a big change from jc's. not as young a culture, and there's a very, how to put it, military kind of feel. prolly cuz the up there people are mostly from the army.

i had my earphones plugged in this afternoon, and there was a little voice telling me that the action might earn me a ticket to one for the glass rooms. but never(: still, the office was so quiet, other than the occasional call/the auntie vaccuuming the floor, the lowest volume level of my phone (it's my music player now) was still a little too loud.

that means it's really quiet, cuz the lowest volume level is what i set it to be at night when i need help sleeping.

job scope wasn't as interesting as i thought of it to be, but i still feel important. and i know this is a great big project, and what the public/authority sees will be my work.

i definitely hope for a larger workload so i dont even have the opportunity to be tempted to surf the net. i've been reading alot of food reviews cuz i get hungry way before lunch time and i always forget there's food in the pantry.

people told me to ask for a pay rise cuz of my importance, but we'll see. i already have transport to work and lunch is provided and the pantry is open for unlimited use.

oh yeah a downside: the girls' toilet doesn't have a blue bin. weirdness.

anyway, i finally remembered about the ntu sand art thing that i did at their open house, my piece spells my name and it's just beside the 1 of NAF 10. uh, just fyi. and for me to show off abit. i was part of the largest sand art montage display(:

why?

i hate moments like that. how come i'm not making friends they way i envision myself to be? what's my problem?

shopping time!

hmm new job cannot wear jeans, therefore i need stuff to go with my leftover bottoms!

need black and white tanks, long-ish cardigan, and a blazer would be a plus!(:

i'm employed!

i like meetings with bosses that are filled with laughter. i had one today. met one of the gms, and i'm starting work on monday!

tomorrow's urban freestyle, didn't see J's name on the list, S's at the info counter, while B, T and i are at the massage station. i am crossing my fingers that it won't stink like hell.

have been receiving alot of spam messages on msn, a good reason to switch to my hotmail.sg account. it makes me feel patriotic too.

and oh yes a few days back i received this email from a supposed fedex manager, telling me i've won some money. obviously scam, but just for fun i replied, and now we're having a convo with him repeatedly asking me to send him my details (and an admin fee, duh). when i finally end the chain of emails, i'll post them here(:

recommendations.

starblog's new topic (last week's) is top ten book choices of each blogger. very very useful. besides giving me recommendations on what sutff to borrow from the library (i don't like buying books), i think the topic also allows use to delve into the insides of the bloggers. how often do you see julen and vanessa talking about stuff not directly related to sex? or jane talking about something else other than climbing?

yeah highlight of today as seen from my fb status, i did the ris low boomz hand action during interview today. only realised i did it after i left the place.

i need clothes to make me look my age. i think i was dressed like i was 25 or something.

looking forward to:
1. g6.20 dinner
they are awfully nice to invite grace and i once again for their class gathering! well yeah cuz we're not from the same class and we've only really met each other during the 2008 giessen trip! this time, i must must must remember to return grace the cab fare. but it's on a monday, most likely we won't see the botak boys. which includes panz!

2. cep appreciation session
on the next monday! but argh, andy not there! i think the syogoc officers are all very nice people. i like nice people. will be nice to see them not for events reason, hopefully we'll be having interesting talk, and better, nice food! maybe merly and lyo will be there to shake hands take pictures. then sebas will go crazy again.

but as of now, i'm feeling quite lonely. and cashless.

schoolless jobless

not harbouring much hope in my re interview today. i think their office is seriously not conducive for working. dunno how those people survive.

life has been mundane with my employment status as "unemployed". even though i get to sleep late and wake up late. and watch ellen do stupid dances. and have ikea breakfast. and go on outings with people still classified as "students". and keep scoring more than a million points on plock. and go swimming as and when i like.

but i don't get cash! i'm not given pocket money! i'm paying adult fare on transport! i'm using less brains than when i doing data entry!

rawr.

upside down

i saw 9 april as 6 april. but wells at least that means my stuff has been submitted early(:

need a job. mummy says try tourist attractions. sg flyer/zoo/night safari.

but of course i'm still open to office sit-at-the-comp jobs. so please, if you have any recommendations, please let me know(:

april fools 2010

okay so ris low on 987's meant as an apr fools joke. worked. quite well. got the entire family going "what the hell?!"

well no my parents didn't say those words but their expression screamed.

i don't like seeing something i want (and worked for) being given to another person. especially if i know the said person. especially if i feel i deserve it more. but at least this time i have something a zillion times better.

milestone today! i have finished all uni application stuff!

again: dessert. seed. carpark. scream (almost). baby.

this is a ris low post.

if ris low in the shan and rozz show is a marketing campaign, it's working. i insisted on going home asap so i could camp next to the radio. their daily listener graphs must have went through the ceiling since monday.

but if it isn't, as in if ris low's seriously staying put at 987, then i think the management better get their heads checked. ris low doing traffic updates? idk what exit at aye/which flyover/what road she's talking about. she may not watch soccer, i don't either, but that's not a bloody reason to read soccer news like english's a foreign language. names may be hard, but respect the coaches/players and bloody practice their names. or just get shan to do it.

i want rozz back to make the show more normal. but something inside me wants ris to stay so there'll be stuff to laugh at. because if that girl is selling her dignity, i'd be happy to joyride.

highlight today: dessert(s). guys' toilet middle cubicle. goody bag room. baby.

learning.singapore2010

somebody forgot the remove the nbsp thing from the volunteer confirmation email...

yeah cuz idk what it is, but nbsp keeps appearing in the email template, so the volunteer that goes down to help send emails is meant to delete that then press send. but i had two nbsp-s in my email.

hahaha.

so yeah i've been giving tuition lately, sec one math and history (yeah i know, history?!?!?) but so far it's been okay. since history's like knowing how to read your textbook and identifying the right stuff to copy. math is the tricky one, cuz sec one's where you start algebra and get all confused with abcxyz and double negatives and brackets.

but wells i hope his results improve...

saturday i spent earth hour at the braddell sph building where the power was everything but switched off. well the lights were off most of the time, and the mike was off when the first guy sang, but otherwise the spotlights and aircon guzzled electricity. and xtina got fourth. and i think the top guy screwed his retainers while singing his last song.

sentosa outing yesterday. nearly three months after fll. also seven people, but elaine instead of raffles. she had milo dinosaur with lychee. we gained a frisbee instructor without knowing. the sand exfoliated the soles of our feet. we gulped down nearly ten bucks worth of mineral water. and i didn't bathe after everything.

photo photo! (idu why the rest nv camwhore after i left...)

threadless!

threadless tees has very nice shirt designs i want!

like:






glows in the dark!




idk i find this one really really cool.









but maybe more than 80 days huh.






perfect for teaching kids the alphabet!

and this one's really cute!

in the dark:

one interesting experiment.

this might prove to be one tremendously difficult mission. one which might require me to be up till the sun rises, signifying our next 24 hours. but then, it might not. i don't think there's very much for me to post.

will be visiting my friend tomorrow. she's from next door. wow four times 365 times 24 hours into history.

this is depressing. wrinkles coming in my direction. wish time could be stopped. but not during this point of time. the next month would be good. third month of the collection of twelve not the best.

i now own one coupon which lets me get the best fish with chips for one hundred cents. kudos to e hour.

my cerrebellum is tired. figure out which vowel i did not touch in this blog post. good night.

bugger.

so many things to apply for before uni! march has to be my busiest month post a's.

cep seminar ended (for me) yesterday. started yesterday too (for me) actually.

i still think it's funny that there was a singapore young ambassador among the others.

yeah yesterday morning it rained like nobody's business, somebody must have made the sky really really sad to have it cry so much and for so long.

luckily by the time the people arrived at hortpark the sun was out, my recycling garden didn't look as shitty as it did in the rain.

ganlin has SGD480 gucci belt.

still dunno the peter guy's real name. guys in ns are like the weirdest bunch ever.

overall i think response from our audience was quite good (better than expected), thank you fellow sgreans.

but aww, the other people got funvee ride. and vinid got something extra.

but wells station host dinner was good, and we realised lilian wants to train abu's dragon.

that must have been the most non-pg thing on my blog so far.

rah rah ah ah ah!

diyana and i have zero camaraderie. we can't post bad romance lyrics on her photo in fb.

gym today as a total flop. walked while watching 2012. haven't even reached the action part then stop alr.

big day tmr and pimples chose to come out.